Calmness in the Storm

Personality problems? Ignorance? I really can't understand where Ms. Ex is coming from sometimes. It boggles my mind that we can't seem to ever support one another. I won't claim to understand all the dynamics of being a step mother, but what I will try to clarify is where I am coming from. I've come to the conclusion that Ms. Ex and I are not going to get along no matter what. Sometimes, step-moms can't win. Sometimes real moms can't win. A lot of times, dad's can't win. I wish she could embrace the reality that there is yet someone else that is feeding positive energy and love into her children. Trust me when I say that no one knows the future. Hub and I have a very positive relationship and there is nothing parting us. If Ms. Ex continues to fill herself with anxiety over the living arrangements for the kids, it will be her that the kids see as negative. But for right now, if you want to be a good mom, you will embrace someone else being good to your kids. The ramifications of being bitter, resentful and jealous will far out way the ramifications of your kids building a relationship with another adult they will be able to confide in when they go through the confusing years of being a teenager. And remember, you are teaching your kids every single day of their life, how to be a grown up. How to be a woman. How to view men. And how to be a mom to her own children.

I am fully aware that Ms. Ex divorced my hub and not her children. But, she knew when making that decision, there was an enormous possibility that he would marry me. (As he did) I am his wife and I expect the same out of him that Ms. Ex did when she was married to him. I wish she could just put herself in my shoes. If she was really interested in EVERYBODY WORKING TOGETHER AS ADULTS, then the first step would be for her to rid herself of her childlike mentality that keeps her believing that everything is about her – it’s not! It is and should continually be about the children. It’s disheartening to always hear Ms. Ex talk about how it’s all about the children, yet all of her complaints are in regards to hub's lack of communication, finances, etc, NOT THE CHILDREN! Ms. Ex seems to think that we want to control her! We want to control where she is living, where she works, etc... Get a clue Ms. Ex.. we don't care about any of that. All we do care about are the children... Perhaps its time she think of them first as well.
Final thought – As a step mom, I have "stepped up". I love my step children as much as if they were my own. They are with me full time. I made a choice to love and care for your children, his children ... their our children. Instead of continually trying to degrade us, try actually working with us to raise healthy, well-adjusted children.

Love my kids!