New Year, New Beginnings

January 30, 2011

I believe I have everything up to date with what the heck I have been going through these last few years. Hub and I have definitely had a couple rough patches, but nothing we haven't weathered through. There were a few times I thought for sure our relationship was going to end due to Ms. Ex. I made promises that if anything were to be the demise of my marriage it would have been her. Lucky me she can't break me! Lord knows she gave it her best shot though.

*** At this time I'd like to give a round of applause to Ms. Ex for her dedication and perseverance or lack there of would be a better word ***

I spent the day yesterday with my Godmother and Sister. We met for brunch and played catch up on old times. We laughed, we cried and we ate good food! My sister and I went off to the Home Show that is in town for creative ideas on what the next big project would be at our homes. While there I did run into an old friend. He asked how life had been and then shared a tidbit. I must have "FILL ME IN WITH DETAILS OF MS. EX" written on my forehead. It was mentioned that her pictures on facebook had toned down. Good for her I thought ... and then I was told .... yea she likes to make clever comments under her pictures/posts .. you can tell they are directed at someone. Me perhaps I wondered? Maybe, but yet I know I am not the only person in the world who Ms. Ex has it out for. She often told me about an ex business partner she had. They had been friends for many, many years and had a falling out of some sort. I only heard Ms. Ex's side of the story. Sad to think you're friends with someone for over 15 years and in less than six months you're bad mouthing them. With friends like that, who needs enemies! It was also rumored that her attendance in her classes was dropping for some reason. Hmmm.. maybe her lack of professionalism finally made it out and people are starting to see her for the true person she is? Enough already ...

I woke up this morning feeling ready to start the day and finished the weekend out strong. I started my ritual off at 8:00 AM with a cup of coffee flavored with vanilla carmel! YUM ... Delicious! Sewed on a few patches for hub and I while I caught up on my all time favorite daytime soap opera, General Hospital, and then ventured to the grocery store.

Got home from the grocery store, finished up the laundry and spent some time with my pup. Every other week my lovely pooch gets groomed by me. We started off with a bath, blow dryer for fluff and then the clippers took her down to about a 1 1/2" coat... She's so beautiful!

My daughter asked for some poster board and I told her I would run her to CVS to pick it up before I went off to work for a couple hours. As I was walking out the door, I noticed Ms. Ex was in the driveway with the kiddos for drop off. As I walked out she looked up at me and I'm sure assumed I was hub and said "hi!" very cheerfully! Funny though that her face quickly went sour and she rushed to the back of her vehicle in realization that it was me. I thought of being a smarty pants and offering a hello back .... decided she wasn't worth the effort it would take for me to be nice. Inside I was laughing hysterically. I can hear her with her friends now snickering about it. Sigh... such a relief, that its drop and go.

Hub is working a long day today. (15.5 hours!!) I know he is going to be exhausted. He'll come home, we'll snuggle into bed and like every night he will softly rub my back and shoulders until I fall asleep. He is very good to me. I'd like to think I am just as good to him.

I'd like to finish this post with a video from Rascal Flatts. It's their new song and it is BEAUTIFUL. I think of the loss of my LEO. We will put my LEO brother to final rest on Tuesday, February 1, 2011. February 1 is my mother's birthday. I think that my mother is looking down from heaven and telling me that my LEO is very happy in his new home and that she, my best friend's mother, mamaw, papaw, step dad and all others that I have lost are taking good care of him and protecting his family as well.

January 28, 2011

TGIF!!!

This week has been rather long. A funeral today and then repeat the process again next week. Death in itself is completely complicated.

How was your week? Anything fun happen? Where was I at.... Yes.. Ms. Ex moved to the opposite side of town, still traveling with the 15 hour a way boyfriend and still meeting up with new men and introducing them to the kids... Sigh....

Can I just add here that I know that I have faults. I, by no means claim that I am "super mom" as Ms. Ex refers to me. Before 2010 concluded Ms. Ex told hub she wanted to go back to shared custody. Hub told her no and we haven't heard anything since then. My suspicious self thinks there is something brewing in the pot!

I forgot to mention the latest tidbit that I have been informed about. Apparently, in the world of Facebook Ms. Ex has created a problem for herself. It has probably been about month since I heard this, but it's worth sharing. Who knows if she will ever find my blog to read. Not quite worried about it. Certainly if you are in my circle of the world and know what is going on in my life you will know exactly who I am on this blog. I'm not afraid to admit who I am .... just cautious as Ms. Ex is terribly frightening. (Let's clarify in that I AM NOT AFRAID OF MS. EX) I, unlike herself have more respect for my family then throwing them under the bus with names. Back to the Facebook issue. I wish that I could take credit for what I am about to say, but I can't.... (secretly though I think if Ms. Ex asked if I did what I'm about to say, I would contemplate taking full credit) I give two thumbs up to whomever did it. To you.. I say THANK YOU!

Ms. Ex and I aren't friends on Facebook. We used to be, but after confronting her with the pornographic photos sent to my brother and telling her she was not welcome in my home any longer well.... she de-friend me! Shocker! At any rate, apparently Ms. Ex put some "nude" photos on her Facebook page and someone called her employer and told them about it. After all this is said and done I am the one getting blamed for calling her employer! HA! (Can I take credit??? I Soooooo want to) I wish I could, truly. I find it disturbing that Ms. Ex is more concerned that I called rather than, uh, I don't know, maybe they shouldn't have been posted at all? About a week ago a friend of mine actually gave me a copy of the photos!

I was shocked to see that they were the same photos that were sent to my brother. Seriously? What the heck is she thinking? I think she forgot that the two of us still have a couple mutual friends .... thank you friend for the information. But still to this day, I am the person responsible for whatever happened to her. I also forgot to mention that I am one of the cheerleaders wanting her to have a job! Of course her part time job that she has right now isn't a job, but at least it's something! I would rather her have something than nothing! And for the more hard core, blunt, really don't care if I hurt feelings point of view... I'm already married to hub, we have full custody of the kids ... what more could I possibly want? Well... I tell ya, there is something that I want ... I want her to quit being so damn frigid and be a freaking mom! Not a friend to her kids, but a MOM! You want to talk private things, intimate things with your kids? Fine! Can you at least not traumatize their childhood and wait until they are adults to better assess the situation?

Alright, Alright.. It's Friday.. I'm a step mom and I'm happy as a clam!

January 27, 2011

Hello Hello! Back into the midst of catching us up to speed. 2010 started off wonderful for us. We had full custody of the kids and were getting everyone back on track. Before I go too far into 2010, let me bring up Christmas 2009. Seems that Ms. Ex wasn't feeling very festive and didn't think she could give the kids the Christmas Spirit that they needed so she decided to go 15 hours away to be with boyfriend and celebrate Christmas with him. She would return .... I think it was 3 days after Christmas.. Not exactly sure, but it brings me to the next point.

With us having full custody, Ms. Ex was entitled to 3 weekends of the month (Friday & Saturday night and then return to us on Sunday) First go round into the weekends and Ms. Ex asks if we can keep the kids because she needed some alone time.... Ok.. you were just gone for a week and now you're supposed to have them ..... and you need alone time? I didn't quite grasp the concept, but oh well, I never did then and I won't now.

In the beginning of 2010 after school was out Ms. Ex would come over to my home and hang out with the kids..... EVERY DAY! Come on now! Seriously! She technically wasn't coming over to "hang" with the kids, but rather waste time. She found herself living about 45 minutes from our home and her fitness teaching "jobs" were near our home. Didn't make sense for her to drive all the way home to drive all the way back to our side of town. Other than the fact that this is MY SPACE you are invading! That lasted about a week and hub told her no more hanging out with the kids! I might even add that she wanted to come in the mornings too and hang out till the bus came. Last I checked you couldn't "raise" your kids right now and gave them to us to do it..... why are you hanging out at our place? Ms. Ex quickly realized that only having the kids 6 overnights a month was quickly becoming frustrating. She didn't have adequate housing arrangements for them where she was at and the reality was probably sinking in. Ms. Ex began picking the kids up for dinner one night during the week that was set and established. She'd pick them up and have dinner with them and then bring them home.

In the midst of all of this Ms. Ex is now flying to see boyfriend 15 hours away at minimum once a month. Now we aren't exactly sure ... and rightfully not our business, but Ms. Ex claimed that boyfriend was footing the plane tickets for her. Great!!!! You got yourself a sugar daddy! (Problem.... you claim you can't split the cost of the things the kids need, you have no money to pay the bills you have, you can't afford to get a place of your own) YET... you travel away once a month which means you aren't doing your "fitness instructor" jobs ----thus you aren't getting PAID from anyone! So in fact what little money you do make you're not making. Afterall, in the fitness world you get paid for what you do.. not what you don't do.

I find myself remembering how this particular fitness that she is teaching got started anyway... OH yea!!! ME... Back in my not so smart, own a fitness studio days with her, I paid for her certification! Why???? Because I was just that nice! And here we are 2010 and she's teaching classes on my dime actually, because I paid for the certification... (But yes..yes.. certifications do expire ... and yes, yes .. now she's teaching on EXPIRED certification!) Liability, Liability, Liability.

Off my soap box on that one. We carry on and grades come home from school! For the FIRST time since the divorce of Ms. Ex and hub... my "step" son has ALL passing grades!!! Not just passing, but NOTHING below a C! This is BIG news, GREAT news!

Summer break and Ms. Ex has the kids here and there. Nothing too long term as that would cramp the style of her "instructing." Many of baseball and softball games that Ms. Ex missed for the opportunity of either a date from some new suitor ... or yes.. instructing from those 15 million jobs she holds! I bring up new suitor(s) because that is an entire new topic to discuss.

Since the final of the divorce Ms. Ex has been in "relationships" with 6 men??? (I've lost tracke) I say "relationships" lightly. I am of the belief that you don't bring anyone home to meet your children unless you know that there is potential of a long term relationship. Otherwise, why have your kids meet person after person after person. Now.. I hear ya... well maybe their just friends.... True, possibility.. But when Ms. Ex is confiding in her daughter.. (who by the way isn't even in her teen years) about how much she likes this man and that man. How this man treats me this way and that man takes me to this place .... and well ------------------------------------------------------>

OK.. so back to school now in 2010 ... kids are doing great! Step son is not only improved his grades... He's on the honor roll!!!! Can I get a woot woot!

Events transpire leaving Ms. Ex homeless yet again and she is left to find another place to live. She has taken on a part time position with benefits.. This is a good thing.. BUT bad thing in that while she gets 30-35 hours a week.. the pay is less than adequate and she only gets paid during the school year and when school is in session.. Sooo.. Spring Break, NO PAY, Winter Break, NO PAY .. Holiday, NO PAY, Summer Break, NO Pay --- you following me here?

On a positive the "job" is in the area where we live, so that's great! Now all she has to do is get a place to live down around her job! Yea.. NO... She opted to get a 2 bedroom ---- 40 minutes across town! Again.. her choice. But the agreement was. Get job, move back to the area where the kids are going to school and shared custody could be discussed again!

Who doesn't do that? Ms. Ex is who!

Think I'll stop for now.. as we're getting into the more current events and I'll get that going tomorrow... Will be OK. though because then I'll be more current and instead of dating the posts, maybe I'll come up with some quirky titles?? Suggestions???

January 26, 2011

Sigh... It has definitely been trying these last few days. My hopes were that by blogging I would express how I'm feeling and blogging would become my since of therapy. So far so good. While I'm not talking about current events that are going on in my life, I am bringing back the past and moving forward into the future.

It occurred to me that life is so very precious and that many take it for granted. I emailed off my to my Aunt last night letting her know that I started blogging. She has already read the first of many posts to come! Thank you Aunt G! (Love the abbreviations --- she knows who she is).She asked that I add pictures! Ta da!!! I am a listener. I thought the sun rays boasting down onto my post were the best way to start this next post!

I chose this picture because sun rays shining down from the sky are the little simple things we take for granted when someone we love deeply has passed. It is the warmth of the sun on your face, back, shoulders, etc that I feel embraced. This morning just after 6 AM, I lost a dear brother. May the sunshine be shining always upon his remaining brothers and sisters and may his family find comfort in their memories and support from their immediate and extended family. My brother made the ultimate sacrifice. I bleed blue.

Death saddens me as I'm sure it does most. I am reminded at my age (mid 30's) of the loss of my mother, 4 years ago. While she passed away at a young age I know that God had a plan for her as I know God has a plan for my LEO. Our loved ones wish desparately that they could come down and tell us the Why's after a person dies, but if they told us, I truly don't know that we would understand. We will meet them again some day in front of the gates to heaven and reunited for eternity.

I think for today I'll hold off on talking about Ms. Ex in 2010. For today is a day that even she can't take away. While she tried to put herself on a pedestal and send some thoughtful words to hub last night in regards to the loss of our brother, I can't help but wonder why she did it .... How in the world can you tell someone you value them, their job, their sacrafices ----- yet the one thing you can't vaule is that of him as a father! I was saddened last night in the midst of a crying mess and then he read to me the message from her. It takes death for her to recognize?

I still haven't grasped the meaning behind it. Maybe she was sending it out of sympathy? (But how do you sympathize with only a certain portion of a person?) Hub told me not to think on it. I believe his exact words were, "babe, she'll be back to her crying, telling me what ahorrible dad I am self tomorrow". I'm sure he's right.

From a co-worker I miss dearly, "Take care of each other, cuz it's all we got!"

January 25, 2011

What a day it has been! I reckon in the next few days I will catch us up to the current modern day life and it won't feel as if I am starring in my own episode of "Back to the Future".

The fitness studio was a joke and I walked away in the red a little over 6K. I couldn't even imagine suing her as she was the mother of my step kids. Seriously? No, not an option. I cut my losses and moved on. I noticed early in 2008 and the support payments going to null that her responsibility as a parent was starting to slack.

She had yet to find steady/gainful employment and that meant teaching odd jobs here and there to try and make ends meet. The problem with the fitness industry is that you accommodate your clients schedule more so than you do your own. As a single mother you can't really accommodate your clients before your children, but Ms. Ex did. She would express her desire to want to find a full time job, but then would express her sorrow for her clients and the feelings of letting them down. I would try to explain that the kids come first and your clients should know that. Again, I was barking and there was obviously no sound registering.

The frequency of her lack of involvement began to drain me. I could see how much her kids loved her and how much they just wanted to please her. Her days to have the kids and she wouldn't be able to pick them up from the practice, or she couldn't take them to a practice or she couldn't make it to a game. It became rather exhausting. Hub finally had a break through and decided that he wasn't going to be the local stop and drop for the kids.

By this time, Ms. Ex had decided to move to an apartment that was still within the same school district that we lived in. It seemed to be working great, until there were many nights when the kids were home alone while she was out late working her teaching job. She would make comments that she worked 2, 3 and 4 jobs to make ends meet. I'm sorry, but doesn't a job constitute an 8 hour work day with 40 hours put in or more? That's full time right? If you teach 2 classes a night and that takes 2 hours and you do that at 4 different locations, you don't have 4 jobs! (Come on now!)

Back to hub.. Hub decided that on the nights that we didn't have the kids she needed to be responsible in doing the needs that were needed. That meant ... after school is out the kids need to come home to you. If they have practice, you need to figure it out. After all, we were doing that on our time. Shouldn't she? Again, she thought this was a controlling issue. And again, I reiterate, uh no... just be a parent, that's all. It's your time with your kids, do your thing. It's not like she didn't know 6 months in advance what nights she was gong to have her kids!

2008 ends and her lease is up on her apartment and Ms. Ex informs us that she is going to move in with her boyfriend. Not a problem, you're relationship is progressing, by all means, go. Downside, new boyfriend lived 30 minutes from the school district and she wanted us to do everything again. She wanted to wake the kids up early, drop them off at our house, have us get them on the bus. Have the kids come home to us and when she was done teaching, 6, 7, 8 o'clock at night she'd come pick them up... Being sympathetic and wanting the kids to have everything they needed again, we agreed to do this for us. (Let me add a side note that Ms. Ex, boyfriend, son, daughter were living in a 2 bedroom condo --- son was left to the couch as his bed)

2009 comes to a close and Ms. Ex's boyfriend decides he's going to move 15 hours away! Oh no! This puts Ms. Ex in big predicament as she still has no full time employment (since 2005) and the condo she was living in was definitely out of her means to maintain. So.... on her own free will and probably the best thing for her children that she ever did, she gave us full custody. We were elated with happiness! Ms. Ex just wanted to have a verbal agreement on the situation and hub said no, he wanted it legit through the courts. He told Ms. Ex as soon as you get a full time job and a place to live back here in the school district we will consider going back to the way things were. I didn't think that was too much to ask.
1. Get a full time job
2. Get a place to live in the school district with the kids so that on the days she is supposed to have the kids, she has the kids. (Not using and abusing hub for your convenience)
3. Ms. Ex, didn't have to pay ANY child support. (couldn't really as she didn't have J_O_B)

About this time Christmas is coming 2009. The kids were on winter break from school and I was playing around on a laptop that we had gotten my step son. Not to get to graphic, but I went onto the yahoo home page and saw that the email was still signed in. Being nosy mom, keeping tabs on kids to keep them squared away (snooping perhaps, but I did buy the computer) I looked in on the email. The sent file immediately came up and in the TO line I noticed my brother's email address. Five minutes later I noticed TO line was to Ms. Ex's boyfriend 15 hours away. I was puzzled... Why would my step son be emailing my brother. Didn't quite compile, so I clicked on it and OH MY GOODNESS!

I quickly realized I was in Ms. Ex's email!!!! HOLY CRAP! Yes... and to my disbelief, Ms. Ex had emailed my brother pornographic photos of herself! Now, again, to each their own! But hello, you used your son's computer to do this. You didn't log yourself out and you sent them to the man they call UNCLE! I was completely disgusted.

A few short minutes later, I noticed the email sent to boyfriend 15 hours away contained the EXACT same photos that were sent five minutes earlier to my brother! Still in shock I logged her off as I didn't want my step son finding that information. (Did I mention that I too had to delete them from the hard drive as she had them saved there as well) I still to this day don't know if my step son saw them. My prayers are please no, but I haven't asked and haven't a clue how to, and won't be.

I confronted Ms. Ex about what I found and her words were sorry about not logging off, can you do that for me? HELLO! I already logged you off, but all you're sorry about is that? I contemplated sending something to the boyfriend 15 hours away, but my secret hope was that she would move there and I didn't want to ruin those chances.

Getting pretty good now as we're starting 2010.... Oh we're almost there. Am I crazy? Am I missing something? Friends would come and talk how she bad mouths me these days, but really --- be jealous, it's OK.

Keeping it Simple, Keeping it Light ... See you tomorrow!

January 24, 2011

I reckon going back as far as I can will allow for a better understanding of my situation.

I know there are those that will judge me and again, please remember I'm not looking for your judgement. (I'm pretty good at doing that myself) Until you are in the shoes I wear, please don't believe you know what is happening. Those who judge the cup 1/2 full never had their eyes open to begin with. And until you are in the shoes I wear, you truly never know how you will respond.

We met while I was working third shift. He at the time had been married for 14 .. maybe 15 years, not quite certain. I, myself had been married a little over a year to a man 22 years my senior. (Another blog time I'm sure as to the extent of that marriage) Long in short of it, my exhusband decided that there were more important things in his life than myself. Perhaps I should have known that when I married in for my first marriage as wife number 4!!!

My husband who from here on our will be referred to as "hub" and I quickly became friends and something just clicked. Nothing romantic was involved with us. We were great friends, sharing secrets, goals and life's desires. I'm honest when I say there wasn't something romantic going on with us. Had he been a woman, I'm sure no one would have seen a problem with our "relationship". As most relationships go, we began confiding in each other issues that were happening. He had been emotionally disconnected from his marriage for over 5 years, yet was staying for the sake of his children. He admitted that he often worked more hours than needed because he didn't want to be at home with Ms. Ex. Long and short of it, hub and I talked as "friends" for a little over a year and a half. Of course the cell phone bills would have dictated something different, but honestly, it was platonic. Sure there may have been flirting here and there, but I believe hub knew things were different with me as I wasn't the typical woman you meet and have a one night stand with that he might have been used to.

Cell phone bill later and Ms. Ex asked hub to leave the home. It was at that point that our relationship took a different turn. I had already moved out from my ex's place and was in the process of dissolving that relationship. I believe we were both at a point that if you are going to accuse us of doing something, well .... we might as well just do something... and thus; six years later, here I am ... happily married to my prince charming. The first couple years after his divorce was final Ms. Ex and I really didn't get a long. I can't imagine why, afterall, she hadn't held a legit job for the last 17 years and her bread winner was gone. It was frustrating watching the $1200+ support payment go out each month knowing the children were with us over 75% of the time and her role as a mother was not being pursued.

After having calculated everything that first year, we had, had the children 268 overnights out of the 365, on top of the $1200+ in support going out. We went back to court and proved that we had joint custody. At the time the courts agreed that hub shouldn't pay anything in support, but the "good" guy that he is, he offered $175 a week for six months. Giving Ms. Ex time to find a job. The timeline would prove still at a dead end road.

Time line ---- divorce final in 2005, 2007 we get shared custody - $175 weekly, 2008, $125 - weekly, 2009 - (6 months no support), 2010 - full custody, no support!

2005 - through the end of 2006 was very tiring for myself. The kids had been with us 75% of the time and as a mom myself it was breaking my heart that their own mother wasn't really around. Just seemed that all she wanted was the support money coming in. While proving joint custody we learned a few extracurricular activities that Ms. Ex was involved with with her then boyfriend. I would refer to him as gentleman, but he is the epitomy of using women. It was then that I realized Ms. Ex had very low self esteem issues and that he played on those emotions. I wasn't in a position to say anything, but the children had expressed a disdain in the man. Children see more than we will ever admit, and for a child to come forward and say they aren't liking someone for "creepy" reasons ... you would think one might look deeper into the issue. While I can't confirm anything, I can confirm that an email reached me one day advising me to check out a certain "adult" website. I clicked on the link and low and behold there was Ms. Ex, face and all will the world to look at her ..... burlesque style? (is that the polite way) I was thrown back that I was able to access this so easily. Don't get me wrong, please whatever your desires in your bedroom, go for it .... but do you have to display it to the world wide web with your face attached to it???? Maybe I'm just too modest.... Maybe I was sickened to think that the information was right there for any and all to see, including the kids. Deep breath... Polite confrontation and yea well she thought we were just trying to be controlling of what she does. Quite frankly, that was the least of my concerns. Two little voices into my now blended family have been and will continue to be the only thing that mattered to me.

(On a side note -- her then part time profession was that of the public eye and role model to children)

Something must have transpired in Ms. Ex because shortly after the confrontation the relationship she was in ended and she moved back to the area in which the kids were living with us.

Around 2006, Ms. Ex and I took a turn for the better. I mean way better! I nominated her for a woman of the year award! I truly believed she had been through a tough battle and was turning her life in the right direction. I felt she was worthy of inspiration to other single mothers. (Perhaps, I over stepped that thought about a million feet!)

January 2007, Ms. Ex and I ventured into business together. Yes, I hear you.. I opened a fitness studio with her? Perhaps, in the back of my mind I was feeling sorry for her. She hadn't held a real job her entire life and now here she was mid 40's, two kids and really nothing to show for it. While the fitness studio was not something I did full time, as a recreational fun job it was great. I was hoping that would prove to be the choice of Ms. Ex too, but again... it did not.

Financing the studio was bit of a headache. Ms. Ex didn't have any resources and I did. With the gracious help of my uncle we were able to fund the opening and resources that were needed. I advised I would cover the first couple months rent to allow her time to get on her feet. Almost six months into the business, Ms. Ex went on vacation and while out of town, drained the business account funds stating she didn't have any money and that she would replace it upon returning. Whether or not she ever replaced it, I really don't know. I would linger to the negative side of it. About month number 9 I was really getting frustrated with Ms. Ex. I was keeping track of the books at the business and according to the paper records there should have been well over $2800 in our account. A check of the balance showed about a little over two dollars! I asked where the money was at and Ms. Ex stated she hadn't a clue. Well, I knew that she and I were the only two to have access to the account and I didn't have it! Have I mentioned that I had avoided paying myself for the 3 months prior to allow her money to pay for her own living expenses? (cell phone, cable, rent, license plates) Light bulb finally went off and I decided that being in business with Ms. Ex was not a good business decision on my end.

Perhaps it was done on purpose... Drain me of about $6,000 and I have enough since to walk away. Maybe I deserved it? After all, at the time I was engaged to her ex husband. We used to joke that we would be a great Lifetime movie. Seriously, our friendship, unless I was completely oblivious to the situation had blossomed. She would call me during the evenings to discuss her current boyfriend "problems", gossip from other places she would teach at, advice on the kids. It was a friendship. We would shop together, borrow each other's clothing .. it was odd. Friends would tease us that she would be moving in with us and renting a room from us before we knew it. Ironically, the thought had crossed my mind. I believed at that time had we met under different circumstances we would have been great, life long friends....

I'm usually a great judge of character..... oh was I wrong on this one... This is just 2008 starting now .... and well the drama is only beginning.

Keeping it simple, Keeping it light.... See your tomorrow.

January 23, 2011

Is blogging a since of relief? Is there satisfaction in knowing that there are people out there reading your every word? Hanging on till the next post to know what the world might see?

I started blogging a little over 2 years ago, but deleted them before allowing them to be published. At the time, I didn't think it appropriate for me to vent to the world wide web.

I still don't know if I want the entire world reading my life, but who really knows what is truth and what is fiction? I recall as a young girl writing stories with my spelling words. "The Mystery Train" I called it. Written about murder and chaos, the train ride was always eventful. I'm a woman with an energy and passion to express what is transpiring. I shoot straight from the hip with my expressions and nine times out of ten, I lack the tact that is needed in delivering my opinion. I don't know where I got my bluntness from, perhaps my older sister? My mother, lovely woman that she was, wasn't one to hurt people's feelings. She really had to be pushed to a point to say her opinion. Yet, hell hath no fury like my mother in a zone!

I've been married for three years now to a wonderful man. While our "relationship" isn't the ideal meeting and romantic story one hopes for, it is slowly developing. Some may call me a homewrecker, some might call me a child savior, for whatever you want to think of me, with my lack of tactfulness, I don't really care. I have plenty of friends and people who love me. I have always been one to say, "If you don't like me, your loss". I'm a genuine person and with that I am always by your side when other's walk away. I am the friend you tell your secrets too that you don't want anyone else to know. I am the shoulder you cry on when things aren't going your way. I am the laughter in the room that makes everything see simple. But yet, if you choose to judge me before knowing me, you've never really known me at all ----- and as I would say, your loss .. I can't imagine me losing sleep over it.

I am a mother to a 15 year old daughter who is the ultimate love, joy and passion of my life. I am also a step mother to a 14 year old son and 12 year old daughter. Parenting is very frustrating at times. However, I would have to say that dealing with the "ex"" is even more challenging. My daugther's dad and I have come a long way. We communicate now better than we have in years. I would attribute all of that to his most patient new wife. I can honestly say that had it not been for her there may have been many more years of frustration with him. I think part of me was hurting for my daughter and that part of me held resentment with her father. Perhaps that is another blog all in itself.

Frustration doesn't quite master the feelings that I experience with my husband's ex. For purposes of identification I'll call her "Ms. Ex". At the present time, I can't think of a polite name to refer to her by so this will have to do. I go out of my way to ensure that I don't have to be around her these days and well even that gets tiring. I reckon I'll end there.... I'll pick up tomorrow with a background of me and Ms. Ex. It's truly an amazing story once I get it out there....

My posts will be simple, they will be direct. If you have a question, please ask it. If you have a comment, please post it. If there is a topic you'd like for me to cover, mention it.