January 25, 2011

What a day it has been! I reckon in the next few days I will catch us up to the current modern day life and it won't feel as if I am starring in my own episode of "Back to the Future".

The fitness studio was a joke and I walked away in the red a little over 6K. I couldn't even imagine suing her as she was the mother of my step kids. Seriously? No, not an option. I cut my losses and moved on. I noticed early in 2008 and the support payments going to null that her responsibility as a parent was starting to slack.

She had yet to find steady/gainful employment and that meant teaching odd jobs here and there to try and make ends meet. The problem with the fitness industry is that you accommodate your clients schedule more so than you do your own. As a single mother you can't really accommodate your clients before your children, but Ms. Ex did. She would express her desire to want to find a full time job, but then would express her sorrow for her clients and the feelings of letting them down. I would try to explain that the kids come first and your clients should know that. Again, I was barking and there was obviously no sound registering.

The frequency of her lack of involvement began to drain me. I could see how much her kids loved her and how much they just wanted to please her. Her days to have the kids and she wouldn't be able to pick them up from the practice, or she couldn't take them to a practice or she couldn't make it to a game. It became rather exhausting. Hub finally had a break through and decided that he wasn't going to be the local stop and drop for the kids.

By this time, Ms. Ex had decided to move to an apartment that was still within the same school district that we lived in. It seemed to be working great, until there were many nights when the kids were home alone while she was out late working her teaching job. She would make comments that she worked 2, 3 and 4 jobs to make ends meet. I'm sorry, but doesn't a job constitute an 8 hour work day with 40 hours put in or more? That's full time right? If you teach 2 classes a night and that takes 2 hours and you do that at 4 different locations, you don't have 4 jobs! (Come on now!)

Back to hub.. Hub decided that on the nights that we didn't have the kids she needed to be responsible in doing the needs that were needed. That meant ... after school is out the kids need to come home to you. If they have practice, you need to figure it out. After all, we were doing that on our time. Shouldn't she? Again, she thought this was a controlling issue. And again, I reiterate, uh no... just be a parent, that's all. It's your time with your kids, do your thing. It's not like she didn't know 6 months in advance what nights she was gong to have her kids!

2008 ends and her lease is up on her apartment and Ms. Ex informs us that she is going to move in with her boyfriend. Not a problem, you're relationship is progressing, by all means, go. Downside, new boyfriend lived 30 minutes from the school district and she wanted us to do everything again. She wanted to wake the kids up early, drop them off at our house, have us get them on the bus. Have the kids come home to us and when she was done teaching, 6, 7, 8 o'clock at night she'd come pick them up... Being sympathetic and wanting the kids to have everything they needed again, we agreed to do this for us. (Let me add a side note that Ms. Ex, boyfriend, son, daughter were living in a 2 bedroom condo --- son was left to the couch as his bed)

2009 comes to a close and Ms. Ex's boyfriend decides he's going to move 15 hours away! Oh no! This puts Ms. Ex in big predicament as she still has no full time employment (since 2005) and the condo she was living in was definitely out of her means to maintain. So.... on her own free will and probably the best thing for her children that she ever did, she gave us full custody. We were elated with happiness! Ms. Ex just wanted to have a verbal agreement on the situation and hub said no, he wanted it legit through the courts. He told Ms. Ex as soon as you get a full time job and a place to live back here in the school district we will consider going back to the way things were. I didn't think that was too much to ask.
1. Get a full time job
2. Get a place to live in the school district with the kids so that on the days she is supposed to have the kids, she has the kids. (Not using and abusing hub for your convenience)
3. Ms. Ex, didn't have to pay ANY child support. (couldn't really as she didn't have J_O_B)

About this time Christmas is coming 2009. The kids were on winter break from school and I was playing around on a laptop that we had gotten my step son. Not to get to graphic, but I went onto the yahoo home page and saw that the email was still signed in. Being nosy mom, keeping tabs on kids to keep them squared away (snooping perhaps, but I did buy the computer) I looked in on the email. The sent file immediately came up and in the TO line I noticed my brother's email address. Five minutes later I noticed TO line was to Ms. Ex's boyfriend 15 hours away. I was puzzled... Why would my step son be emailing my brother. Didn't quite compile, so I clicked on it and OH MY GOODNESS!

I quickly realized I was in Ms. Ex's email!!!! HOLY CRAP! Yes... and to my disbelief, Ms. Ex had emailed my brother pornographic photos of herself! Now, again, to each their own! But hello, you used your son's computer to do this. You didn't log yourself out and you sent them to the man they call UNCLE! I was completely disgusted.

A few short minutes later, I noticed the email sent to boyfriend 15 hours away contained the EXACT same photos that were sent five minutes earlier to my brother! Still in shock I logged her off as I didn't want my step son finding that information. (Did I mention that I too had to delete them from the hard drive as she had them saved there as well) I still to this day don't know if my step son saw them. My prayers are please no, but I haven't asked and haven't a clue how to, and won't be.

I confronted Ms. Ex about what I found and her words were sorry about not logging off, can you do that for me? HELLO! I already logged you off, but all you're sorry about is that? I contemplated sending something to the boyfriend 15 hours away, but my secret hope was that she would move there and I didn't want to ruin those chances.

Getting pretty good now as we're starting 2010.... Oh we're almost there. Am I crazy? Am I missing something? Friends would come and talk how she bad mouths me these days, but really --- be jealous, it's OK.

Keeping it Simple, Keeping it Light ... See you tomorrow!