January 23, 2011

Is blogging a since of relief? Is there satisfaction in knowing that there are people out there reading your every word? Hanging on till the next post to know what the world might see?

I started blogging a little over 2 years ago, but deleted them before allowing them to be published. At the time, I didn't think it appropriate for me to vent to the world wide web.

I still don't know if I want the entire world reading my life, but who really knows what is truth and what is fiction? I recall as a young girl writing stories with my spelling words. "The Mystery Train" I called it. Written about murder and chaos, the train ride was always eventful. I'm a woman with an energy and passion to express what is transpiring. I shoot straight from the hip with my expressions and nine times out of ten, I lack the tact that is needed in delivering my opinion. I don't know where I got my bluntness from, perhaps my older sister? My mother, lovely woman that she was, wasn't one to hurt people's feelings. She really had to be pushed to a point to say her opinion. Yet, hell hath no fury like my mother in a zone!

I've been married for three years now to a wonderful man. While our "relationship" isn't the ideal meeting and romantic story one hopes for, it is slowly developing. Some may call me a homewrecker, some might call me a child savior, for whatever you want to think of me, with my lack of tactfulness, I don't really care. I have plenty of friends and people who love me. I have always been one to say, "If you don't like me, your loss". I'm a genuine person and with that I am always by your side when other's walk away. I am the friend you tell your secrets too that you don't want anyone else to know. I am the shoulder you cry on when things aren't going your way. I am the laughter in the room that makes everything see simple. But yet, if you choose to judge me before knowing me, you've never really known me at all ----- and as I would say, your loss .. I can't imagine me losing sleep over it.

I am a mother to a 15 year old daughter who is the ultimate love, joy and passion of my life. I am also a step mother to a 14 year old son and 12 year old daughter. Parenting is very frustrating at times. However, I would have to say that dealing with the "ex"" is even more challenging. My daugther's dad and I have come a long way. We communicate now better than we have in years. I would attribute all of that to his most patient new wife. I can honestly say that had it not been for her there may have been many more years of frustration with him. I think part of me was hurting for my daughter and that part of me held resentment with her father. Perhaps that is another blog all in itself.

Frustration doesn't quite master the feelings that I experience with my husband's ex. For purposes of identification I'll call her "Ms. Ex". At the present time, I can't think of a polite name to refer to her by so this will have to do. I go out of my way to ensure that I don't have to be around her these days and well even that gets tiring. I reckon I'll end there.... I'll pick up tomorrow with a background of me and Ms. Ex. It's truly an amazing story once I get it out there....

My posts will be simple, they will be direct. If you have a question, please ask it. If you have a comment, please post it. If there is a topic you'd like for me to cover, mention it.